My relationships are…complicated, to say the least.
But I think that’s probably true for a lot of people. Humans have a lot of feelings, and sometimes those feelings get in the way of each other. We have motivators that conflict with our morals, morals that conflict with our needs, and emotions that conflict with literally everything.
That’s why relationships can get really messy, really quickly.
So which relationship am I talking about this time? Donna? Orion? Julian? Tex?
No, those all have their place, but not here. Today’s relationship is just a touch more complicated than those.
I am talking about my relationship with🤶🎵🎄🎶❄️
Holiday music.
You know what I’m talking about. The super annoying, unbelievably catchy, heartachingly cheesy songs that everyone adores and that they start playing incessantly at midnight on November 1 each year.
The same songs, over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over again year after year after year after year after year after year. Renditions and remixes and covers and duets and parodies of these same songs because NO ONE has had anything original to sing about since 2002.
It’s ludicrous and exceedingly annoying that all anyone wants to listen to for ALL of November and December of every single year is the same 30 songs.
Every. Damn. Year.
On the other hand, it’s very familiar, nostalgic, and comforting.
I feel absolutely torn about it. Hence the complications in this relationship I have with holiday music. I love it to pieces, and I also want to burn those pieces unto ashes.
It’s actually a very confusing feeling.
Whereas in the middle of summer, Luna and I might be singing Jingle Bells, Winter Wonderland, and Let It Snow, come November, I don’t want to hear any of it, and don’t you dare play that music around me!
I actually love most of these songs, and if you knew me personally, you’d wonder if I was telling the truth. But that’s the truth. I love these songs. And I love multiple versions of these songs.
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bell Rock, Winter Wonderland, White Christmas, Silver Bells, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, 12 Days of Christmas, Let It Snow, Oh Tannenbaum, I Have a Little Dreidel, and everyone’s favorite, All I Want for Christmas is You. The others that I can’t think of off the top of my head are good too, and I actually enjoy holiday music. It’s festive and warm and gives me those good, fuzzy feelings.
There are some I truly dislike. Baby It’s Cold Outside is a pretty song, but the lyrics are too creepy. Santa Baby, I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus, and All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth are some of the worst songs in recorded history. I think I might prefer that IceJJfish song to those, and I know my humor is dry and sarcastic, but I say that in all seriousness.
I have two big problems when it comes to holiday music.
- It’s so in your face, overplayed, and aggressive the way it’s played in all the stores and radio stations.
- I like to say that I have no heart or soul, and a heartless, soulless person can’t exactly enjoy holiday music.
Let’s talk about the first one. They really do play the same 30 songs over and over again. Can someone who works at a radio station please confirm the number of songs on their holiday playlist? Because there is no way it’s more than 30 songs, and different renditions of the same song don’t count as different songs!
There is nothing new or original, and there is certainly no variety. I like the songs, but come on!! I don’t want to hear them 18 times a day for 2 months straight.
You know exactly what I’m talking about. Of all the holiday songs that have been recorded, how many of them are unique? Even most of the different versions aren’t even different. They haven’t arranged the music any differently, the words haven’t changed, not even the tempo is any different. It’s just a different voice!
There are three examples of song renditions that are done excellently that I love with all of my nonexistent hearts.
- All I Want for Christmas is You by Chase Holfelder and Kurt Hugo Schneider
- 12 Days of Christmas by Relient K
- Winter Wonderland by Jason Mraz
That is how you do your own version of a song. Not just slap a different voice or do another boring duet. You freaking scat while singing Winter Wonderland, like Jason Mraz does. It may not be an original song, but it’s an original take on a classic, which makes the song that much better.
Or you have the gumption to take the world’s most beloved holiday song and put it in a minor key and make the meaning of the song so much darker. Chase and Kurt’s version of this song evokes the longing and melancholy of grief during the holidays after having lost someone. The words “all I want for Christmas is you” take a whole new meaning. In the original song, it’s a sweet expression of love, saying that as long as I have you, I am happy, and all I am content without all the rest of the holiday noise.
In the minor key version of it, it’s a mournful cry for the one you love who has been lost to you. Everything else to do with the holiday has lost meaning in the face of grief, and the yearning for the one who’s been lost is palpable in this haunting rendition.
Or of course, you could take the basic bones of the song, then rearrange and rewrite it so that it’s fun and upbeat, even poking a little fun at the original song the way Relient K did with their 12 Days of Christmas. The chorus of this song asks the questions that are on all of our minds, “what’s a partridge?” and goes on to say that a partridge and a pear tree are probably terrible gifts to get! As would the rest of the gifts in the song… except maybe the 5 golden rings. But I love this song! It’s fun and funny while still putting you in that good holiday mood.
Any good holiday song that was turned into a solid punk or metal song is also right up my alley. Love me some Trans Siberian Orchestra.
Anyway, all of that to say that I like holiday music just fine, but for the love of the gods, there are so many different things you can do with it, and I would LOVE IT if someone would start playing some variety over those 2 interminable months! Please! And thank you. ShEEsh.
Not that they will because it’s probably just all about generating revenue for the top songs ever that are already making so much money they can buy all the music media delivery vehicles, and no one else ever gets a chance to be heard or seen. *cough cough* But I don’t feel like talking about the music industry.
Which then brings us to my second issue, which is an entirely internal issue fabricated by my inability to be vulnerable.
Surprise, surprise.
So I pretend to hate holiday music. Which isn’t an entirely made up thing, as you can see. It really, really gets on my nerves after I hear it 6 million times in a row. And I would love it if it were more varied. I’d be jamming out all the time if the kinds of songs I described were mixed in with the tired ones that have been played to death.
But holidays are a time to be touchy feely and open and vulnerable and mooshy gooshy.
All of which I adore. I am the most squishy, sentimental person. I cry at everything. I mean My Little Pony, Bluey, heartwarming Hallmark movies, all of that crap. But only when I’m alone or with Luna. Otherwise, I hide it, and I don’t want my feelings to show.
I think the best way to describe me is as a closed open book. I wear my heart on my sleeve in that I display my surface emotions plainly, those emotions being happy, frustrated, annoyed, flat, and mad. That’s the open book part. But I won’t discuss even the surface emotions unless it’s with Luna or someone I really, really trust. Or I’m in a place where I just need to talk, or I’m gonna dissolve into a sad, scared, formless cloud.
And forget about what’s going on underneath. Those thoughts are reserved for bouncing around the walls of my brain’s enclosure. Which is the closed book part.
Hence, a closed open book.
I’m very closed off and guarded. Letting my walls down to talk to someone about what’s going on in my mind, what I’m truly thinking?
Unthinkable.
And so holiday music gets shoved down with the rest of it. Of course, unless I’m with Luna. We can sing holiday songs and listen to the music anytime she likes. In fact, we frequently use it in games we play. If I want her to be open with me, I first have to be open with her. She’s too smart to accept a facade, and she deserves to have a close relationship with her mom. So with her, I let her see the real Lynda.
I know this is not healthy, and I can sometimes be open with my sisters, Tessa, and my parents. But by and large, I am closed off. I’m working on it!
So I have resolved to do this during this holiday season: I am going to make a playlist of more than 30 holiday songs that I actually like to listen to so that I can sing along and genuinely enjoy myself while I do festive things like baking, wrapping presents, and having hot cocoa with Luna. I will sing and dance along, and I will let that warm feeling inside. And I won’t just be that way with Luna. I will be festive with my parents and with Tessa. I won’t see my sisters for the holidays this year, but if I have the opportunity to do anything else festive, I will let myself enjoy it instead of tucking it away.
I told you this relationship was unnecessarily complicated.
But what can I say? I’m a messy human.
Happy Holidays!
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Two things!
One, please note that the names of everyone in this blog have been altered to protect the people I write about. My main goal is to explore my experiences and my growth, not air anyone’s dirty laundry out. Any likeness to people you know in real life are probably coincidental. (I mean what are the chances? It’s a pretty big world!)
Two, the thoughts and opinions I express in this blog are merely a result of my personal experiences to this point in my life. If there is anything I have misrepresented, overlooked, or have a blind spot for, feel free to leave a comment or email me at contact@livingbetween.net. (Yes, this includes typos. Let me fix my typos, please!) All I ask is that you always remain respectful.
Talk soon!
– Lynda –
Living Between 